PROFILES OF COURAGE
This project explores visual symbols based on the stories of Andrew, Hope, and Jasmine. Each participant's journey reflects overcoming fear and manipulation to reclaim their identity. Through these visuals, we capture the transformation from emotional imprisonment to healing and empowerment, using symbols that highlight their experiences of self-acceptance, freedom, and resilience.
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When Safe Havens Become Prisons
Andrew's Quest for Self
Andrew grew up immersed in the rigid doctrines of an Independent Fundamentalist Baptist church, where curiosity was stifled and obedience was paramount. As a star student adorned with badges for his biblical knowledge, he felt the weight of perfection pressing down on his individuality. Forbidden from exploring ideas outside the church—his own father would discard any books he brought home—Andrew grappled with intense self-hatred as he became aware of his sexuality, a truth utterly condemned by his community. His mental health deteriorated amidst fear-driven teachings and manipulative control, leading him to a university that only mirrored the oppression he sought to escape. Reaching a breaking point, he realized he needed to reclaim his own story. With courage and the support of a compassionate family, Andrew broke free from the chains of fear, embarking on a journey toward self-acceptance, healing, and a life defined by love rather than fear.
Breaking Through
Breaking Through symbolizes Andrew’s journey from fear and manipulation to self-discovery and empowerment. As he writes in his journal, golden light radiates, representing the transformative power of reclaiming his narrative.
Behind him, a fractured mirror reflects the shadow of his past self, trapped by rigid church teachings. The gold-filled cracks symbolize healing, and from them, his former self begins to break free, representing rebirth and transformation. The shadow embodies the chains of fear and guilt that once controlled him but are now shattered as Andrew takes charge of his own story.
The potted plants beside him symbolize resilience and new growth, representing the support systems that helped him heal. The image captures Andrew’s escape from emotional imprisonment to a life of freedom, love, and self-acceptance.
The Vest of Badges: A Symbol of Perfection and Conformity
From a young age, Andrew was placed on a path toward an impossible ideal: becoming “perfect” by age 17. His vest, covered in badges for Bible knowledge and other achievements, is a powerful symbol of the weight of conformity. These badges, much like those worn by Boy Scouts, symbolize milestones—but in Andrew's case, they represent an external pressure to achieve an unattainable state of moral perfection, where no questioning of authority or critical thinking was allowed. The badges symbolize the chains of conformity that Andrew would later break from.
The Duality of Fear and Love: A Culture of Manipulation
Andrew's upbringing in the IFB church instilled a constant sense of fear-driven obedience, a core theme in his story. The threat of hell and the idea that others would go to hell if he didn’t “win their soul” created a pervasive fear that stifled his growth and personal identity. The church's use of guilt and fear as control mechanisms—demanding unquestioning obedience, tithes, and surrender—was an emotional prison.
However, within this culture of fear, there is a yearning for love and acceptance. The phrase “perfect love casts out fear” stands as a contrast to the fear-driven teachings of his youth. It represents Andrew’s ultimate realization that healthy religion—and healthy life—should be grounded in love, not fear. This realization becomes central to his journey of breaking free and discovering a more authentic self.
Self-Hatred and Disassociation: The Internal Imprisonment
Andrew’s personal struggle with his identity—particularly his sexuality—further deepened his sense of imprisonment. The rigid and judgmental teachings of his church led to intense self-hatred, mental health struggles, and disassociation. He tried to deny who he was, praying to change his sexuality and feeling trapped in a body and identity he couldn’t reconcile with the church’s teachings. His disassociation—the feeling of being out of body or trapped in a mental flight—symbolizes the emotional distance from his true self created by trauma and guilt.
The psychological effects of this religious control pushed Andrew to the edge. His desire to escape is symbolized by the key necklace in his photo project, which represented the freedom he longed for from the teachings and self-hatred that confined him.
Reclaiming the Narrative: "I Need to Be the Writer of My Own Story"
A critical turning point for Andrew was the moment he realized that he needed to reclaim his life story. Journaling became a powerful act of self-expression and healing. Writing down his thoughts allowed him to take control of his narrative, turning the oppressive teachings into something he could dissect, understand, and ultimately overcome. His recognition that “you don’t have to live a life of separation, self-hatred, and fear” marks the beginning of his journey toward personal empowerment.
Through therapy, Andrew gained the language to express his trauma and the tools to heal. Therapy gave him the ability to articulate the complexities of his upbringing and move forward.
The Mirror of Transformation: From Brokenness to Healing
The fractured mirror symbolizes Andrew’s broken identity, shaped by trauma, fear, and self-hatred. Each crack in the mirror represents the wounds caused by the church's teachings and his struggle to reconcile his identity with the expectations placed upon him. However, the kintsugi-style gold that fills the cracks symbolizes the healing and growth that Andrew experiences through self-awareness, therapy, and community. His past, once shattered, is now pieced back together with a deeper strength and beauty.
The phoenix emerging from the broken mirror symbolizes Andrew’s transformation and rebirth. It represents his rise from the ashes of his old life, breaking free from the emotional and spiritual imprisonment of his upbringing. This rebirth is fueled by his decision to be the writer of his own story, not the product of someone else’s teachings.
The Escape from Oppression: Finding True Community
Andrew’s decision to leave Bob Jones University, which he once saw as a potential refuge, symbolizes his escape from one prison into another. The university’s expectations of submission and its invasive monitoring of students deepened his mental health struggles. However, the family that took him in provided a sense of true community—one not based on fear and control, but on love and support. Through this experience, Andrew found a way out of his mental and emotional captivity, discovering that belonging did not have to come at the cost of his individuality.
The Struggles of Forgiveness and Moving Forward
Andrew’s relationship with his parents is complex, particularly with his mother, whom he recognizes as a victim of the same system that oppressed him. His grieving process over these relationships is ongoing, and while he works toward forgiveness, he also understands that his healing may require distance from those who were complicit in his upbringing. This highlights the difficult balance between forgiveness and self-protection—forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean returning to a toxic environment.
From Imprisonment to Freedom
Ultimately, Andrew’s story is one of escaping the emotional, spiritual, and psychological imprisonment of his youth to find true freedom. He transforms from someone controlled by fear, shame, and manipulation to someone who claims ownership of his life and identity. His journey through therapy, community, and self-expression allows him to emerge from the shattered pieces of his past as someone reborn, resilient, and empowered.
Andrew’s story embodies the duality of freedom and imprisonment, self-hatred and self-acceptance, and fear and love. His journey shows that even in the face of overwhelming control and trauma, it is possible to reclaim one's life, find healing, and break free from the smothering expectations of the past.
Removing the Mask
Andrew is shown in the act of shedding the false identity imposed by his past—a mask symbolizing fear, conformity, and external expectations. As the cold, expressionless mask is gently pulled away, his true face is revealed, radiating vulnerability and authenticity. This pivotal moment reflects Andrew's journey of breaking free from the rigid religious and societal pressures that once suppressed his individuality. Now, with hope and self-acceptance, Andrew embraces his true self, leaving behind the fear and manipulation that once held him captive.
The Grave of Who I Was Supposed to Be
This image symbolizes the necessary death of a past built on external expectations in order to bring forth a new, authentic life. As the young man discards his badges—symbols of conformity and societal validation—onto a mound resembling a burial site, it represents the letting go of a former identity bound by rigid beliefs. From this symbolic death, new life emerges, as seen in the blooming flowers and open landscape, illustrating the transformation that comes when one sheds the old self to embrace true freedom and personal growth.
Sometimes you need to leave your family, to find your true family, and belonging.
~ Andrew