BELONGING
9-30-24 SESSION
In this conversation, a group of high-school students explored the concept of belonging through their personal experiences and societal perspectives. They shared moments of both connection and disconnection, whether from feeling part of a sports team or school community to struggling with isolation due to moving frequently or differing from peers in values or interests. The discussion highlighted the distinction between inclusion and true belonging—how simply being included in a group doesn’t always mean feeling genuinely accepted or valued. Topics such as religion, culture, politics, and personal growth were used to examine how our sense of belonging can be influenced, either fostering unity or emphasizing division.
The students also talked about belonging as a dynamic, evolving journey. They reflected on how belonging can feel natural in some settings while elusive or complex in others, especially when facing challenges like societal expectations or cultural shifts. The group questioned common assumptions about belonging, revealing its depth beyond the surface idea of fitting in. Throughout the conversation, the themes of vulnerability, courage, and the importance of open-mindedness emerged, showing that belonging is an ongoing process shaped by genuine connections and personal growth.
Explore the art and discussions in more detail to see how these perspectives are visually represented, and to reflect on your own understanding of belonging.
Surprising Discoveries:
Belonging Isn't Always Positive
One surprising insight was that belonging can sometimes come with negative aspects, such as feeling pressured to conform. Participants discussed how belonging to certain groups or environments might require sacrificing individuality, making belonging feel restrictive rather than empowering.
Inclusion Alone Doesn't Lead to Belonging
It was surprising to learn how often inclusion is mistaken for belonging. Being included in a group, school, or team doesn’t guarantee a sense of true belonging. Without genuine acceptance, inclusion can feel hollow, leaving individuals feeling like outsiders despite being physically present.
The Complexity of Comfort Zones
Many participants realized that comfort zones, while offering safety, can also act as barriers to deeper belonging. Staying in familiar environments sometimes prevents individuals from experiencing the connection and growth that come from stepping into new or challenging situations.
Belonging Can Be Both Personal and Collective
Another surprising realization was how belonging exists both at an individual and a collective level. Participants expressed how they found belonging within themselves through self-acceptance, even as they sought it within broader communities. The internal journey of belonging was just as important as the connections made externally.
Key Themes:
Belonging as a Dynamic Journey
Belonging was discussed as an evolving experience that shifts over time. The students reflected on how their sense of belonging changes depending on life circumstances—whether it’s moving to a new environment, adjusting to cultural differences, or navigating personal growth. Belonging was presented not as a static state but as a journey that can deepen or become complex with time and experiences.
The Complexity of Inclusion vs. True Belonging
A key theme was the difference between being included and feeling like one truly belongs. Inclusion might mean being physically present in a group or community, but true belonging requires a deeper emotional connection and feeling genuinely accepted. The students pointed out that inclusion without a sense of acceptance often leaves a gap in feeling fully connected.
The Role of Community and Shared Experience
Belonging was often linked to shared experiences and communal support. Whether it was through sports teams, shared cultural backgrounds, or group activities, the students highlighted that belonging grows through common goals, mutual understanding, and support. They also pointed out the powerful role of communities in making individuals feel part of something larger than themselves.
Vulnerability and Open-Mindedness as Pathways to Belonging
The students recognized that vulnerability and open-mindedness are crucial for forming real connections and fostering belonging. They shared insights on how stepping outside of comfort zones and being open to new experiences or people were essential in creating authentic relationships. This willingness to share openly and accept others as they are emerged as a powerful theme in the conversation.
As you explore these visual symbols of the conversation, where do you recognize your own thoughts or those of others within its narrative?
What symbols within the artwork speak to you, and what stories do you think they're trying to tell?
In what ways does the art challenge or expand your current perspectives on belonging?
How do the contradictions and paradoxes illustrated in the art resonate with your understanding or experience with belonging?
A CLOSER LOOK AT SYMBOLOGY
The Threshold of Vulnerability and Growth
The door/mirror combination invites a deeper exploration of how our inner and outer worlds interact in the journey toward belonging. The intact mirror, doubling as a door, suggests an uncomplicated passage—a life where reflection is straightforward, untouched, and comfortable. Yet, the absence of the figure in this reflection raises the question: do we truly see ourselves when the journey requires no risk?
The shattered door/mirror, on the other hand, symbolizes the more complex path of growth, where the pieces of our identity are scattered, fragmented, and waiting to be faced. This path reflects the idea that belonging requires us to move through the fragmented parts of ourselves, piecing together the difficult reflections we see. The struggle to push open this broken door mirrors the courage needed to face our vulnerabilities and create a space for ourselves in a larger community. The imagery challenges the viewer to consider whether true belonging is found only when we step beyond our comfort zones, facing the broken reflections with bravery and accepting them as part of our journey.
The Crossroads of Belonging
This image represents the internal journey of finding belonging, symbolized by a lone figure standing at a crossroads beneath a signpost with multiple directions: Connection, Acceptance, Comfort, and Doubt. Each direction points to a different emotional path one might take in the quest for belonging, capturing the complexity and uncertainty that comes with navigating personal identity and social acceptance.
The juxtaposition of paths represents the choices we face—whether to seek connection, grapple with doubt, settle into comfort, or strive for acceptance. The figure's shadow stretching towards the diverging roads suggests the weight of these decisions and the hope of moving toward a place of true belonging. It evokes introspection about the courage needed to choose our direction and the unpredictable nature of this journey, with each path holding different promises and challenges.
A Seat for the Unseen
This image captures the essence of collective belonging and shared vulnerability. A diverse group of individuals sits in a circle in a tranquil field, each with one hand over their heart and the other placed on the table. From the center of the table emanates a soft glow, symbolizing the shared energy, intention, and interconnectedness among the participants. The lines extending from the center represent the unique paths of each individual, converging into a unified experience.
The empty chair within the circle holds deep meaning, as described by one of the students. It signifies both absence and invitation—a reminder of an important person who is missing, someone who could not be present, but whose spirit still holds a space among the group. At the same time, the empty chair is invitational, symbolizing the openness of the group to welcome others who seek connection and belonging. It stands as a dual symbol: honoring those who are absent and extending an invitation for others to join in. This duality reflects the inclusive, ever-evolving nature of belonging, where there is always space for those yet to arrive and a recognition of those we miss.
Rooted Connections: The Journey of Belonging
This image evokes the layered journey of belonging, choices, and connections. A diverse group of individuals stands around a glowing tree, whose roots extend outward, merging with the people around it. The illuminated lines represent the threads that connect each individual to the greater whole—symbolizing the intricate web of relationships that build community and belonging. The glowing icons of people in the branches symbolize both the individuals who contribute to this sense of belonging and those whose influence still lingers within the community.
In the foreground, a signpost points in multiple directions: "Connection," "Acceptance," and "Doubt"—signifying the choices and emotions one may face on the journey to finding belonging. Notably, the empty chair and a wheelchair in the background add layers of meaning: the empty chair implies space for those not yet present or missing, a symbol of invitation and remembrance. The wheelchair, almost blending into the scene, speaks of accessibility and the often-overlooked struggles individuals face in their pursuit of acceptance and community. The scene captures a feeling of shared vulnerability, opportunity, and the ever-present choices that shape our connections and our sense of belonging.
The Light of Belonging
This image conveys the themes of community, choice, and introspection on the journey towards belonging. A diverse group of teenagers stands in a circle around a glowing orb, each of them connected by lines of light extending from the orb itself. The orb, intricate and radiant, symbolizes the collective energy and interconnectedness of human relationships—its warmth representing a shared purpose and the desire for connection.
Throughout the scene, multiple signposts stand, each pointing in different directions, with words like "Connection," "Acceptance," "Doubt," and "Commitment." These signposts reflect the choices each individual must navigate on their journey to find belonging, with the paths leading towards hope, uncertainty, or commitment. Some participants appear confident, standing tall and facing the orb, while others seem more hesitant or reflective, emphasizing the personal struggle that accompanies the desire to be part of something greater.
Mirrors are placed around the edges of the circle, representing moments of self-reflection. They symbolize the importance of looking inward while seeking connection with others, a reminder that belonging starts from understanding oneself. The image captures both the light and the complexities of community, inviting viewers to reflect on their own journey towards acceptance and the paths they choose to take. The presence of the open book and the pathways beneath their feet also suggests that this journey is one of learning, unfolding step by step, with each person contributing uniquely to the larger story.
Divided We Stand
During the discussion, participants shared insights about the divisions they see in the political landscape, describing it as a stark "us versus them" mentality that leaves little room for complexity or nuance. They questioned whether belonging in such a space is truly possible, or if conformity to one side is the only way to be accepted. One student described how the polarization they observe creates an environment where genuine dialogue and connection become impossible—only those who completely align are welcomed, and the rest are marginalized.
This image asks the viewer to consider whether the rising generation is witnessing this social dysfunction because adults are failing to model inclusivity and unity. Are we showing what it truly means to belong to the human race, beyond the labels and divisions that separate us? The empty chair at the table serves as a poignant question: Do we create space for others to join, and are we willing to extend our hands to bridge the gap, even when it’s uncomfortable? Divided we stand—but only by challenging this, can we learn what it means to belong together.
A Place at the Table
This image captures a moment in a high school cafeteria, where a group of students is gathered around a table, engaged in lively conversation. The atmosphere is filled with warmth, laughter, and the sense of belonging that comes with shared connection. In the background, a student stands alone, holding a lunch tray, pausing as they contemplate joining the group.
The scene subtly reflects the complexities of belonging—how easy it is for some to find a place, while others hesitate, unsure if they will be welcomed. The student standing alone embodies that hesitation, the vulnerability of wanting to be part of something but fearing rejection. Meanwhile, the group at the table, caught in their laughter and conversation, represents the comfort and security that comes from already belonging. This image challenges us to reflect: Do we notice those who stand on the edges, wanting to join but unsure how? Are we creating a space that makes it easy for someone to take a seat, to be part of the warmth and laughter, without hesitation? The empty spot at the table is an invitation, a reminder of the power we hold in making someone else feel seen, accepted, and connected.
The Puzzle of Belonging
This image captures the intricate and ongoing process of constructing a collective identity in a diverse world. A group of young people stands before a giant puzzle wall, each piece depicting cultural symbols, flags, and faces that represent different parts of humanity. The teenagers are actively engaged—some holding up puzzle pieces, others adding them to the wall, and a few exchanging pieces with one another—symbolizing their effort to contribute their unique parts to create a greater whole.
The diversity of flags, colors, and cultural symbols reflects the richness of human experience, showing how each piece—no matter how different—is essential to completing the picture. The puzzle itself is incomplete, with missing pieces scattered on the ground, reminding us that the work of inclusion and understanding is ongoing. The students are not just building a puzzle; they are weaving together their unique stories, acknowledging the complexities, gaps, and potential that exist in their shared endeavor.
The image poses a question to the viewer: How do we fit our own piece into the broader puzzle of humanity? Are we willing to work alongside others, to exchange perspectives, and to help complete the picture without leaving anyone out? The collaborative energy and the diversity shown here emphasize that belonging is about seeing each individual as a valuable part of the collective, without which the full picture of humanity cannot be realized.
THE MULTARITIES OF
BELONGING
Belonging is not a straightforward or static experience, but rather one filled with nuanced, sometimes contradictory elements. Throughout the conversation, participants revealed multiple layers of belonging that involve balancing seemingly opposing forces, such as comfort and challenge, individuality and conformity. These multarities help us understand that belonging isn't solely about finding a place where we fit; it is also about the negotiation between these contrasting aspects.
The coexistence of comfort and challenge, for example, shapes belonging by showing that while people seek environments where they feel safe, genuine belonging also often requires vulnerability and stepping outside of familiar boundaries. Similarly, balancing individuality and conformity reveals that belonging involves both adapting to group norms and maintaining one’s personal identity. The dynamic interplay between these forces gives a fuller picture of belonging as an evolving, reflective process—one that is influenced not just by external acceptance but also by internal reconciliation and choice. Below are the key multarities that emerged, offering insights into the deeper dynamics that inform what it means to truly belong.
Internal vs. External Belonging
The conversation highlighted the duality between internal and external belonging. Participants reflected on the importance of self-acceptance as a foundation for belonging, alongside their desire to connect with external communities. This multarity shows that true belonging often involves balancing inner contentment with the pursuit of external connections.
Inclusion vs. True Belonging
The group explored the difference between inclusion and true belonging. While inclusion can involve being invited to participate or physically being present, true belonging is a deeper feeling that comes from being genuinely accepted and understood. This multarity reveals that surface-level inclusion does not always fulfill the deeper emotional need for belonging.
Belonging as a Comfort vs. Belonging as a Challenge
Belonging was seen both as a comfort zone that provides safety and familiarity and as something that requires vulnerability and stepping into the unknown. Participants shared how belonging can offer a sense of stability while also being something that demands courage and the willingness to grow beyond comfort zones.
Conformity vs. Individuality within Belonging
Another multarity that emerged was the tension between conformity and individuality in the pursuit of belonging. The participants noted that belonging often involves adapting to group norms, which can sometimes lead to the loss of individuality. At the same time, they acknowledged the value of being authentic within those groups to foster a genuine sense of belonging.
Belonging as a Personal Choice vs. Societal Expectation
Participants discussed belonging as both a deeply personal choice and something influenced by societal pressures. On one hand, belonging involves actively choosing the communities and relationships that align with one's values and identity. On the other hand, societal expectations, norms, and external pressures often shape where and how individuals feel they should belong. This multarity highlights the interplay between autonomy in choosing where one belongs and the external forces that can influence that journey.
OTHER IMAGES ON BELONGING
As you examine these additional images,. imagine what conversation points led to their creation.
Where do you see breadcrumbs of yourself and/or your story?
Take-Aways & Insights
for Navigating Belonging
October 2, 2024
Dear Jasmine, William, Jimmy, Val, & Sadie:
Thank you for participating in our conversation on belonging. We were touched by your vulnerability and incredible insights on what it means to belong and the universal struggle we all face to find our places and spaces in life.
From our rich conversation on belonging, one major insight was that belonging is not something that simply happens; it is something you build through intention, effort, and openness. Belonging requires courage—both to be yourself and to reach out beyond what’s comfortable. Our session showed that many of you experience the same fears and hopes when it comes to fitting in, which means that you are not alone in feeling uncertain about belonging. There is great strength in this shared vulnerability. By leaning into these common experiences, you can create deeper and more authentic connections, both for yourself and for others who may be struggling in silence.
Another key takeaway is the importance of both comfort and discomfort. It’s natural to want to gravitate toward familiar people or groups that feel safe, but some of the richest opportunities for growth come when you intentionally step beyond these zones. Embracing discomfort in the pursuit of connection—like reaching out to someone new or opening up about your own experiences—can lead to unexpected, meaningful moments of belonging.
Belonging isn’t a static state; it’s an ongoing journey that involves both giving and receiving, both finding spaces where you feel comfortable and creating those spaces for others.
TIPS ON FOSTERING BELONGING TODAY
Start Small, Reach Out: Take one small step today to reach out to someone you don’t usually talk to. Whether it’s a quick conversation, a smile, or asking someone how they’re doing, these small gestures can make a big difference for someone feeling left out.
Be Curious About Others: Make it a habit to ask genuine questions about others’ interests or backgrounds. Curiosity about others can break down barriers and help you discover common ground. It’s often through these small windows of curiosity that deeper connections are formed.
Embrace Vulnerability: Share a little more of yourself than you usually would, whether it’s a worry, a hope, or a personal story. Vulnerability invites others to do the same and creates an atmosphere of mutual trust. Being honest about your experiences—especially your challenges—helps others see they’re not alone in feeling the way they do.
Push Beyond Your Comfort Zone: Make it a goal to step out of your familiar circle once in a while. Join a club or activity you’re not usually involved in, or sit with a different group at lunch. Growth in belonging often comes from doing what is slightly uncomfortable at first.
Create a Space for Others: Notice when someone else may be on the outside and invite them in. This could be as simple as making sure everyone’s voice is heard in a group discussion or extending an invitation to an activity. Just as you have moments where you need belonging, remember that others do too, and you have the power to make a difference.
Reflect on Your Own Assumptions: Be mindful of any assumptions you might have about who belongs and who doesn’t. Often, these unconscious biases can limit who you feel connected to. Challenge yourself to see beyond first impressions and make an effort to connect with someone new.
Be Patient with Yourself: Belonging is a process and not always an immediate feeling. It can take time to truly find where you fit, especially in new environments. Be patient, keep putting in the effort, and remind yourself that belonging doesn’t have to be perfect—it’s about feeling a little more connected each day.
Belonging starts with you—not just in how you find your place, but also in how you make space for others. By practicing these actions every day, you not only build a more inclusive world around you, but also create a deeper, more meaningful sense of belonging for yourself.
We were so inspired to have spent time with you and learn from your insights, experiences, and thoughts.
That we may grow,
Ginger & Chris
The Multarity Project® Co-Founders